How to Cook A Lobster

How To Cook a Maine Lobster  --  The Maine Way

Listen here, bub. If you’re lookin' to cook up a proper Maine lobster feast, you can't just slap 'em on the stove and hope for the best. You gotta treat 'em with respect, or you’ll end up with somethin' that tastes like a wet work glove. Forget that flat, borin' talk—let’s get down to brass tacks, Maine style.

The Water: Don't Use That Desert Juice

·         First off, if you’re out in Arizona, keep that tap water away from my lobsters! That stuff is more alkaline than a car battery and full of chemicals that’ll ruin a perfectly good tail. Even that reverse osmosis gear won't save ya.

 

·         The Fix: Get yourself some bottled spring water. It’s got the minerals to make that meat sing.

·         The Prep: Pour just an inch of water into a big ol' pot. Throw in some raw sea salt and a few lemon slices once she’s rollin'. Bring it back to a second boil before you even think about the bugs.

Numb 'Em Up

·         If you’re a bit "soft in the attic" about puttin' live lobsters in the pot, don't you worry. Just give 'em a little nap first.

 

·         The Stupor: Toss 'em in the icebox at 37°F for about 30-45 minutes. It slows their metabolism right down 'til they’re in a daze. Once the pot is screamin' hot, they’ll go in quick and easy.

 

The Main Event: Steamin' the Bugs

  •          In Maine, we use a turkey fryer if we’re havin' a real blowout, but any big kettle will do
  • The Brine: Mix an inch of water with 2-4 tablespoons of raw sea salt.
  • The Maine Secret: Bring it to a boil, toss in your sliced lemon, and pour in a cold Allagash or a Sam Adams. That beer steam is wicked important for the flavor! 
  • The Drop: Add your lobsters (keep the bands on the claws so they don't give ya a pinch!). Bring it back to a boil. Cook 'em fresh, or remove the meat and freeze it if you must.·
  • The Timer: Steam 'em for 12-18 minutes. If you’re way up in the mountains, you’ll be waitin' a mite longer.
  •  The Test: When they’re bright red, they’re lookin' sharp. Give an antenna a yank—if it pops right out, they’re ready for the butter.
  • The Chill: Stop that cookin' dead in its tracks! Dunk 'em in an ice bath for 30-60 seconds.

·         Warning: Don't you dare overcook 'em. You do that, and the meat gets tough and rubbery, and you’ll have wasted a perfectly good Maine lobster.

·        

Leftovers: The Holy Grail (The Lobster Roll)

·         If you somehow didn't finish the pile, don't fret. You’ve just secured yourself the best Maine lunch in the county.

  •  The Meat: Thaw your frozen meat to room temp and chop it into bite-sized chunks.·
  • The Maine Way: Grab the Hellmann’s. A proper Maine roll is lightly coated in heavy, creamy mayo with a tiny pinch of salt. That’s it. Simple is better. It’s the DownEast Maine way.
  • The "Other" Way: Now, down in the rest of New England, they sometimes use melted butter instead of mayo. We don't see it much here, but hey, if it floats your dory, go for it.
  • The Vessel: Scoop that beautiful meat into a top-split hot dog bun.

·         Wicked good. Now quit your jawin' and start crackin'!